10 things that change when you have two children.

1: You will never have felt so tired.
Remember that first pregnancy? Coming home from work, putting your feet up, watching telly with a cuppa? Lazy lie ins on weekends, leisurely romantic strolls with your other half, attending lovely Antenatal groups, swimming? Forget it. This time around, you'll fly through pregnancy knackered, chasing a toddler, and stressing out at the end of a day because you were too busy to notice if you felt baby kicking or not. Try to lower your standards a bit and rest where you can. The washing up can wait (and your partner can do it, water isn’t a common allergen despite what they’d have you believe…).


2: The guilt is massive.
You'll find yourself worrying that your first will miss out because you're having another. Then you'll worry that your second will never have had the undivided attention your first did. You'll stress that there are more photos of your baby than your toddler; or vice versa. Baby will have to be left alone on the floor as you have to hastily run to the cry of 'MUMMY! I NEED A POO!' Likewise, toddler will have to forgo playtime with mummy as you're pinned to the sofa by a clusterfeeding baby. Try to remember that it'll all come good in the end; and you're giving them both a HUGE gift - a sibling, a lifelong partner in crime and a bigger family.


3: You'll be a lot less concerned about the 'rules' second time around.
With your first, you carefully watched your intake of forbidden foods, never drank, took your vitamins and when they arrived religiously sterilised everything. Second time around, you KNOW runny eggs, pate and the odd glass of wine aren't going to do any harm (try to remember your vitamins, though) and the 5 second rule, well, rules. (And isn't it good for their immune system?!)


4: Baby#2 is likely to be a bit more chilled out. 
Number 1 had you at their beck and call. They squeaked, you ran. They didn't have to wait for anything because you only had them as the lone planet that you the moon revolved around. Now you've got 2 planets to orbit, and one or the other planet has to wait until you are back in their vicinity. This does no harm; you're fostering independence and patience.


5: You'll lose weight more slowly.
After your first you can pop them in the pram and walk for miles every day should you fancy it. This time, you're juggling baby and toddler, it takes forever to leave the house, the toddler can't walk far and you are so tired you survive on biscuits or toddler leftovers. Don't stress it. You're keeping 2 tiny parasitic humans alive; mum tum can wait or simply be accepted.


6: There WILL be times when number 1 tries to squish number 2. 
Whether it be out of love or anger, your eldest will almost certainly over-squeeze the baby. Having had this happen several times now I can attest to the fact that they are apparently quite bendy and pliable.


7: Your capacity for love will blow you away. 
You will worry during your pregnancy that you won't be able to love anything as much as you love your first. Don't worry, please don't. You will adore your second equally as much as you love your first, I promise you. Your love doubles rather than halves. And seeing them together just makes you melt; my number 2 doesn't laugh for anyone as much as she laughs for her sister, she's her hero.


8: You'll wonder what you did before. 
After the initial shock and chaos, you'll wonder how on earth you all functioned without this precious new being in your life. You'll think how quiet it must have been, wonder how you ever complained that things were hard, and mourn all the sleep you wasted in the tiny gap between number 1 finally sleeping properly and number 2 arriving. Don't stress, you can sleep again once they're all at university. Or have left home. Maybe.


9: You'll feel like a 'proper' family.
2 adults and 2 kids. (Or 1 adult and 2 kids if you're a solo parent). That's a proper family, isn't it? A 'need a bigger car' family. Being able to say 'the kids' to people. Suddenly you'll feel like a real grown-up, this is simultaneously scary and awesome.


10: You're a stronger unit because of it. 
Although some relationships do buckle under the strain, many really come into their own after baby number 2. There's a certain understanding and camaraderie that comes from tag teaming two little terrors. Be honest with each other that it's hard, REALLY hard, don't compete for sleep or argue about who has had the tougher day, just be honest, both muck in and help each other out. This chaos will pass and you'll reach a point where you can be 'us' again, until then, sneak a snog on the stairs and remember to thank each other for being an awesome mummy/daddy. It's easy to forget to communicate when you're exhausted, this is where problems creep in and resentment builds, keep talking and you'll stay strong.

Written by a real person, never any AI.